The other day I had a conversation with my sister. About stubborn weight. She wanted to lose a few pounds. She said she needed it, so she tried a few things. Without much success.
She believed the stubborn weight was due to her genetic makeup. Mom was a little bit on the heavy side, and father developed a waist bump as well. Knowing about genes, she was not alarmed by becoming her parents’ copy. She didn’t see anything bad or unusual about her heavy hips and generous waist. But a few pounds less would be nice.
Time passed and she wasn’t getting slimmer. The opposite.
Stop fooling yourself about being in good health!
I couldn’t see her falling down and decided to put my foot down. I told her that if she continues disregarding her poor state of health, she is going to get all the obesity-related diseases, just like our parents did.
Poor diet and excess weight killed our father and now our mother suffers from brain shrinkage. She’d better pull up is she does not want to get hypertension, T2 diabetes, Alzheimer’s or other modern chronic diseases.
She said she got it and we left it at that. A few months later she was back to cultivating her chubbiness.
There’s always something bigger hiding behind excess weight
She knew that I wasn’t buying her gene theory on stubborn weight, so she changed her reasoning. Now she was heavier due to thick bone structure and due to advancing age.
Wake up, woman! You used to be thinner than me. How come your bones suddenly grew to be tree trunks? And why is advancing age affecting you, but not me?
We went back and forth, reasoning, bitching, and trying to find the real culprits. She was full of insights: her stubborn weight was likely due to slow thyroid, stress, menopause, adrenal exhaustion, low metabolism, gut flora changes, and other physiological disasters.
Stubborn weight? Start with an honest diet diary
The diet topic somehow got brushed under the carped. She insisted her diet was good, and she was careful about what she was eating. For sure nothing with sugar, so there must be a different reason for her stubborn weight than diet, right?
She knew. She knew this all along. But carbs feel so satisfying, she can’t stop eating them. All she could do is lie to herself that she is trying to lose weight, and those “infrequent” grains and starches did not matter.
The lies we tell ourselves
Oh, well, addiction is a bitch. It’s hard to face our true demons. It’s far easier to stick to common cover-up schemes, like these ones:
- I avoid sugar, so my excess weight must be from slow thyroid
- I don’t eat large portions, so it must be slow metabolism
- I eat only healthy carbs, so oats and potatoes don’t count
- I don’t indulge on bad carbs frequently, so they shouldn’t matter
- I can’t lose weight, because I have thick bones and bad genes
- Maybe I am overweight, but I am healthy, so I don’t have to worry
What to do with stubborn weight
It does not feel good to catch yourself lying. So let’s not continue. Let’s not pretend that we are on a weight loss mission when we are not. We are after something else.
A few days back I read a brilliant article on addictions. Apparently, the opposite to addiction is not restriction, but connection. I would agree.
We don’t pleasure ourselves with foods, smokes, painkillers and others for the sake of spending money. We put these habits in place to lessen our pain from lack of connection, love, and safety that should come from meaningful relationships, but aren’t there.
Here is a thought: maybe that stubborn weight has nothing to do with slow metabolism, genes, or hormones out of balance. Maybe it is a hidden message for lack of love.
But you knew it all along, didn’t you?
PS. Love is one of must-have 5 Uthing Ingredients. The other four are…
How much do you know about Health?